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gokotta:

Portlandia

(via lifebyshannon)

bitchiaintchochangimharleyquinn:

sofapizza:

when i meet morning people..

When I meet people

bitchiaintchochangimharleyquinn:

sofapizza:

when i meet morning people..

When I meet people

(via fatasstohealthybitch)

(via fan-tuh-c)

(via unovirgin)

Ode to a Trojan sheath

deathpup:

shrexything:

babyferaligator:

oomshi:

is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing 

no its called highjacking

guys no it’s weedwhacking

no its called dissapointing ur mother

(via bigbagoflittledonuts)

slapmytitties:

snapchatting:

take a shot every time i complain about boys

*gets alcohol poisoning*

(via borinq)

Panic Attack

Imagine being in a public place. All of a sudden you get self conscious about something. And in the moment you feel so small that you want to disappear, die even. And then your fucking imagination begins to play out every scenario, however likely or unlikely, that could hurt or embarrass you. And you're trying to stay calm. Normal breathing. But then you breathe a little too deep and make eye contact with someone. And boom back to feeling self conscious. Scenarios are playing in your head, each one worse than the last. And you feel like of you don't leave, don't disappear in that moment; they'll all come true. And then comes the part where you have to excuse yourself. But you feel like if you make a sound all eyes will be on you and people will just KNOW. And even after you get away it just keeps playing over and over again in your head. The words stupid, worthless, crazy are blaring in your head and it would all end, if you could just end it. And right then dying seems like the only way out. But you have to wait it out. And it sucks. It gives sucking a new meaning. But you breathe. You cry. You calm down. And you realize that it was only a few minutes even though it seemed like hours. And you get your shit together and move on. Because panic attacks are for attention seekers. And you'll die before you have someone call you "thirsty".

pizza:

how many times is it appropriate to say ‘what’ before you nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said

(via kostco)

ofjdrews:

IM FEELING SEXY AND FREE

image

(via hornyspice)